Sue
Maltby is an admissions advisor and graduate student in professional communication
at Weber State University (WSU). As a representative of the university, her
emails serve as early correspondence for new and prospective students. She also
uses technical writing skills to draft documents used in many aspects of
admissions recruiting. Maltby researched and developed her skills in writing
effective emails as a part of her masters program. She read books and blogs and
interviewed noted professionals to increase her competency. In 2016, Maltby
married her best friend and soul mate. Together, they have four amazing
children. Maltby spends her free time with her family and running and biking
trails as often as possible.
Effective Email Writing
Visualize
the last time you quickly typed a work-related email. You felt competent and
efficient as you replied in record time with an intelligent response. Only
seconds later, your stomach turned with regret. You replied to the wrong
person, you spelled something wrong or you realize you came off too curtly. Panicked,
you search for a way to unsend, but it’s too late. The wrong person has already
read it.
The website, http://www.internetlivestats.com/, shows there are over two million emails
sent per second. That is a lot of room for error.
Sometimes
the errors can be funny, becoming viral on the internet. In 2012, Vanessa Hodja
mistakenly attached a scary photo of Nicholas Cage in lieu of a resume on a job
application email. I can only imagine Hodja’s embarrassment when the company
representative informed her of the mistake. Though Hodja’s error did not land
her the job, when she posted about it via social media she acquired 800 new
followers within the next 24 hours.
Other times, mistakes can be more damaging. This
was the case in 2009 at Cornell University when two employees accidentally
included the entire school in an email that revealed their scandalous affair.
The school had to
offer counseling to those negatively affected by the graphic email strands.
Fortunately, most
of us will not experience such dramatic blunders. We will make smaller mistakes
that might cause someone to question our professionalism. With a little practice and implementation of
some email writing techniques, we can avoid many mistakes.
Professionalism
is vital in my position at the university. Each day, I communicate with potential
students and partners. One important aspect of professionalism is consistency. Each
year, our office receives hundreds of email requests for our recruiters to
attend events. With a team of seven, we are unable to fulfill every invitation.
In order to maintain consistency, I created an email template to send our
regrets when needed. It was important to show our partners we value them.
As you will see in the sample on the page below,
the template expresses gratitude for the invitation as well as an opportunity
for the requester to discuss other options for us to show our support for their
event. Along with having a professional template for consistency, our office
also keeps a google spreadsheet to track our requests and responses.
As I researched ways to improve my
professionalism in emails, I read Dawn-Michelle Baude’s book “The Executive
Guide to E-mail Correspondence.” Baude dedicated the guide to highly motivated
people who excelled at aspects of their jobs other than email. She explained
that after coaching these individuals, they became “writers praised for the
high quality of their email.”
Baude claims to provide everything you need
to write clear and effective emails. She also explains “do’s” and “don’ts” for
email etiquette. The guide was helpful in creating templates for my office and
useful in editing my past documents. Below is an example of an email template
used in my office prior to implementing Baude’s tips:
In the above email, there were many ways to
improve. In my conclusion, I will show you an improved version with conciseness
and consistency. I will share nine useful tips from Baude’s guide and six from
an email marketing consultant to ensure professional email writing.
1.
Email
is not the same as hard copy (transactional, salutations, signature Lines)
A.
Transactional
Baude clarifies the difference between emails
and other documents. Emails are meant to have a quick turnaround. Generally a
response or immediate action is expected. For emails keep in mind the
transactional nature. Hard copy documents are meant to be contemplated over
time. There is less exchange of feedback with hard copy.
B.
Salutations
Salutations
are different in email versus printed text. Baude recommends using a first name
in business emails. It is common to use a comma after the first name, unless
the writer is trying to signal a more formal impression. For more formality,
use a colon after the first name. Avoid old-fashioned salutations, such as:
“Gentlemen” and “Madame.” When you don’t know the names of every reader, use a
group name, such as “Team members.”
C.
Signature
Lines
Signature
lines are simple in email. A professional signature such as: “Regards” will do.
Baude suggests using “Sincerely” instead of “Regards” when writing about social
functions. When writing in hard copy, you may use a more personal style
signature, such as: “Yours very truly”. My signature line is automated in my work
emails.
2.
White
space is easier on the eyes
Many readers will scan emails instead of
reading paragraphs word-for-word. White space
encourages rapid eye movement. A dense block
of print does the opposite. Readers use the white space to navigate information
in an email. Overall, white space makes your email more fun and easy to read. You
can increase white space with more paragraphs and conciseness. This sample from
Baude’s guide shows plenty of white space.
Baude’s
sample used bullet points and paragraphs to make the email easy to read. Useless
words
are omitted. Tips to improve your paragraphs and conciseness will follow.
3.
Break
it up with more paragraphs
With
email, long paragraphs do not work. Baude suggests to divvy the text into
smaller
sections. Indents are for hard
copy, not email. It is easier on the eye to see a full empty line between
paragraphs. Short sentences tend to keep ideas on track. Baude provided an excellent example of using paragraphs.
4.
Be
Concise
In email, the smartest writers use simple
language. It is best to use short sentences and
common vocabulary. Email is designed to be
skimmed. A lot of business email can be cut in half. If you must send a large document, Baude recommends you send it as an
attachment.
Baude’s example below shows a lot of
information without a lot of wordiness.
5.
Be
clear about your intentions
Readers naturally pay attention to the first
sentence. What they see first influences
whether or not they read the email. Using the
inverted pyramid in email writing is effective. Begin with your most important
idea. Many professionals receive many emails each day. If you want them to
receive your message, be sure to get to the point right away.
When
you are responding to an email, give your answer right away, then explain your
reasons in the sentences below. Baude
provided a sample email demonstrating a clear and concise reply.
Baude provided the following list to help
writers make their intentions known in a variety
of emails:
·
Get to the
point.
·
When
replying, give your answers in the first sentence and reasons below.
·
For
requests, tell the reader what you want right away.
·
For updates,
summarize the situation in the beginning, then detail it below.
·
Ask your
question immediately.
When in a hurry, it is frustrating to read a
lengthy email, especially if it takes several
paragraphs to get to the point. Be mindful
that you are clear upfront.
6.
Avoid Errors
Email errors are common. We can take measures
to avoid. Some ways to lesson mistakes
include:
·
Read the
email aloud so you can hear what you might have missed.
·
Change the
type size and typeface to see the contents afresh.
·
Ask another
person to proofread when possible.
·
Double check
who your message is addressed to (see next tip).
7. Be careful who you reply to
One way to really embarrass yourself is to
accidentally reply to all when you intended to
reply to one. When in doubt, start a new
email.
The
following blunder occurred when a student intended to send a message to a professor,
but accidentally
hit “reply to all.”
After realizing the mistake, the student sent
this message:
8.
Avoid
expressing anger
Baude
urges writers to fight the temptation to let off steam through email. Irate and
unprofessional emails can damage your reputation within your organization. Find
other ways to blow off steam and remain calm and professional when you are
writing.
This sample from Baude’s guide is a train
wreck of anger. Email is not the place to vent. Let’s discuss the problems with
this email:
·
All-caps
demonstrates yelling.
·
Threatening
does not solve problems.
·
Multiple
exclamation and question marks along with emoticons give a message that you
immature in your writing. A business professional will not take you seriously.
The email would be an effective means of
communicating a problem with the following
tips:
·
Use
paragraphs to break up text as discussed earlier.
·
Remove
feelings and discuss the facts.
·
Write short,
concise sentences and your points will be clear and logical.
·
Save the
juvenile effects (emoticons, excessive punctuation marks) for texting with your
friends.
Baude
provided a much better example to express the same point and look for a
solution to the problem:
I am sure the two emails would get very
different responses. In the second example,
the writer provided details of the problem
and sounded intelligent. Vector, Inc. would be better equipped to quickly
rectify the issue with information in the second email.
9.
When
to communicate in person
There are times when email communication is
inappropriate or unhelpful. Here are a few
times when you should consider a phone call
or personal meeting:
·
to
communicate feelings
·
to break bad
news
·
after
emailing back and forth and there is still misunderstanding.
Think before you send an email. Sensitive
issues are best discussed in person. Let’s move
on to some advice from another distinguished
writer.
Jordie van Rijn, a specialist email marketing
consultant with over 10 years of experience,
has a blog where he provides tips to help
professionals write emails. Rijn posted tips to write the most effective
subject lines to capture a reader’s attention.
Below are six tips from Rijn. More details and
examples can be found at: http://www.emailmonday.com/email-subject-line-pattern-inspiration
1.
Capture attention
with a subject line
A subject line should capture the reader’s attention so
they will want to read more. This relates to Baude’s tip of clear intentions.
Get to the point right away so that readers will want to read more.
2.
Demonstrate a
knowledge gap
Your audience may already think they know everything you
are going to say, so you need to give them enough to show them you have
interesting information to share.
3. Make the reader want to open
Make your readers feel compelled to open your email to find
out what they stand to benefit from reading more.
4.
Demonstrate
urgency
Make sure to point out the urgency to act now. You might
have a time line to respond. I use this when communicating with prospective
students. There are often important deadlines, such as scholarship submission. In
my profession, students may miss out if I lack urgency in my messages.
5.
Tell the reader
they need to respond
Transactional emails have better open rates. When
communicating with prospective students about their application, I am clear
about their need to respond with information to complete the process.
6.
Consider
technology when writing
Now that we have learned to improve our email writing and
ways to grab a reader’s attention, we must consider modern technology. Rijn
wrote a blog about the amount of users opening their email on a smartphone or
tablet.
In February,
2017 Rijn reported statistics about the number of emails opened on mobile
devices. He stated, “Mobile email will account for 15 to 70% of
email opens.”
Keep
in mind your audience when composing an email. If they are likely to be using a
mobile device, remember to be concise. A long email may be hard to read on a
cell phone.
Interview with Stevie Emerson:
Stevie Emerson is a marketing graphic designer at Weber State
University. Emerson has a reputation of quality and professionalism. I am
fortunate she reviews my communications.
Emerson chose graphic design because
was imaginative and curious as a child. She talked about spending hours making
movies, music videos and silly commercials with her sister. Emerson originally
started school for video productions, but found it was too expensive so she
switched to graphic design/visual communication.
Emerson said, “The most important factors in a professional email are: grabbing the attention of the recipient, creating a good subject
line, getting to the point and a call to action.”
The biggest challenge Emerson faces
when writing is wordiness. To overcome this she tries to put herself
in the recipient’s shoes and ask herself the following questions:
·
Why would I read this?
·
What is the point?
·
How can I say it better?
When asked for advice for professional writers working for a university, Emerson
suggested:
·
Learn and understand the University’s brand and voice.
·
Talk to the Marketing & Communications teams (designers,
writers, etc) and use them as a resource.
·
The more unified the materials come from a university, the
stronger the university’s
brand can be.
Emerson keeps a list of tips at her desk for when she is composing
new emails. She shared
her list with me:
Ten Steps To Clarity
1. Be concise. Delete needless
words.
2. Choose the right word
carefully. Favor the short word over the long word.
3. Do not needlessly repeat words,
phrases, or ideas. Do repeat what is needed for clarity.
4. Favor the active voice over the
passive.
5. Be specific. Use concrete
terms; avoid abstract nouns.
6. Avoid dangling
modifiers. Place modifiers as near as possible to what they modify.
7. Take care in the placement of
parenthetical phrases.
8. Avoid shifts in subject, number,
tense, voice, or viewpoint.
9. Express parallel thoughts through
parallel construction.
10. Arrange thoughts logically. Work from the simple to the
more complex.
Conclusion
With the frequency of email communication, it is vital to
get it right. Take the time to study tips from professionals. After my
research, I brainstormed my frequent communications then created a series of
email templates. These emails can be tailored to an individual and sent without
a lot of work.
Think about how you can make your emails more professional.
Don’t forget to tailor your message to the right audience. And be careful with
the reply/reply to all features.
Earlier I shared with you an example email I used prior to
my research? Take a look at my improved template on the page below.
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